Hmmm, the darkly minded Nightshade, takes a peek into her box of childhood horrors and looks around…
I, a huge fan of Marilyn Manson (Still am, will always be), got my second push into the darker subculture scene. I have always been a metalhead, since I was a little girl I remember goosewalking to AC/DC and yelling and singing along to Zeppelin, Uriah Heep, Metallica and others. So by the time I discovered Manson, I was ready to explore different fashion styles. I always was a bit different in my dress sense anyway. I was and still am a “tomboy” (that term kind of irks me). When I wore dresses it was usually with tekkies (sneakers), and of course I enjoyed my ghost/zombie look – sheet tied neatly over my head, sometimes with sunglasses, my arms out in front of me.
I cannot remember the date, but I remember I brought black lipstick to class and started wearing it on casual days, I was about 11/12. These were my first forays into mansonite/babybat gothlingdom. I was often bullied for being different, I now just wanted to reflect my insides on the outsides. I wore more black, and enjoyed it. This could only be done at aftercare and casual days as we had school uniforms in primary and high school. So my continuation with the exploration into my gothiness, carried on behind closed doors, or on the few casual days we had at school.
As a child I had always been into spooky things. I drew tombstones almost constantly, and I always loved visiting the cemetery. I also started reading Anne Rice and her Vampire Chronicles when I was around 12, and I recall watching Interview with a Vampire often as a child- along with other horror and oddly themed movies and shows.
When I hit varsity, I discovered a book on the gothic subculture for an art project I was attempting. It was fabulous and gave me a new perspective on my style and my interests. I did tame down my look a bit for varsity, as it was kind of hard studying while being constantly taunted, stared at and laughed at. (More on another day of the challenge). I never left the subculture, and dressed up my pinstripe skirts with chains and skulls. Even when I dressed “normal” I still kept my alternative music tastes and odd accoutrements. I stopped dressing the way I wanted due to weight gain, but I decided life was too short. At about the same time that I got this renewed sense of myself I discovered Amy’s blog “The Ultimate Goth Guide” and started again down my path. I discovered music I already owned was considered goth like The Sisters of Mercy, The Cult, The Cure, The Mission etc. And now of course I’ve discovered more bands that I love love love!
I’m very happy with the way in which I dress, and the music I listen to and of course my mindset. I believe Goth is defined by the person who considers themselves goth, of course, I believe the music, the clothing and the mindset connect most of us together on some level and it really helps when there are no other Goths to share your passion with, to be able to share with such a rich online community. There is so much to learn about the subculture, there is so much richness within it, that I honestly believe none of us, will ever be complete experts on our lovely, growing and transforming subculture.
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