It is quite an experience to be living on my own, my first few nights in the old place were terrifyingly silent and lonely, it was difficult getting used to the fact that I didn’t have a whining cat, and the constant murmur of voices. Of course I was excited to start being a bit more independent and feeling joyous at the prospect of some silence, but when it actually came I was astounded by how much a part of my life all of it was.
After about a week of not having a laptop, and the playing of Janis and Cinderella and Queen on tape, I started getting a bit more used to the days being quiet, the nights still got to me though and perpetual silence became absolutely maddening.
By the time that almost everything had been packed, I felt as though the place was pushing me out, my last bath was proceeded with tiles breaking and thankfully I wasn’t around or I’d Have been conked out in the bath. Lavender and Rosemary clung to my nostrils and the violently hot water stung my skin, as I said my goodbyes to the spirits of the place, the devas and the animals.
Upon moving to the new place I was in shock, I no longer had the comfort of my altar, the warmth of a home, it was hard, unpacking, adjusting. Although I’m generally good at hiding the true levels of my stress and panic, the move had finally gotten to me. Moving it must be said is one of the most traumatic and difficult things one experiences, one feels uprooted, unstable, isolated, incapable of functioning at an efficient level, and a breakdown, or breakthrough can occur, depending of course on your levels of general optimism.
Once everything eventually became unpacked, things did start looking mildly better. It must be said that I’m still not quite sure how Gothy it is all looking, it may have a general “modern” witchiness but it still lacks that dark deathly elegance I so long for in a home. That might have to wait, until I am able to actually own my own place or at least until I am able to find some more darkly delightful things to fill up the maddeningly white walls. White walls of course sicken me, I’d prefer something a little more Victorian, or even something more cottagy, like the previous place I was living in, but you cannot get absolutely everything to go your way can you?
The nights alone aren’t quite so bad anymore, I’m comforted that my television is set up, even though I never have it on, I’m comforted that I’m no longer living in complete social isolation, and even made a trip to the mall to buy some smart clothes and shelves to unpack the rest of my things.
After everything was unpacked I managed to do a nice magical floorwash for the place Lavender and sage, a nice protective and cleaning mix that is one of my favourites!