We all know that one person… you know the one, the one that thinks they are stellar, so sexy amazing and wonderful that they can get away with shaming and hating on others.
Well this person was on my FB, and eventually they pissed me off so badly that I removed them from my friends list, cos no friend of mine should be fat-shaming and slut shaming all in one comment. The comment stated that only skinny girls can look sexy and “lady-like” wearing short and tight skirts and clothes. Fuck that!
A short while later one of my friends linked me up to this website.* Naturally I was incensed, disgusted and utterly sick to my stomach.
There is something very sick and disturbing about a society that shames women and there bodies, there is something revolting and vile about women who judge other women by fucked up standards.
I exercise between 3 and 5 days a week, I’ve been doing this for about two months, I’m still fat, I still wobble, I have not yet lost a single dress size or centimeter. I’m simply taking my own advice and listening to my body and some days I feel really pumped and I really want to exercise, not to conform to some ideal, but rather so that I can feel stronger, moving around feels good. I have my no exercise days, in fact the past few days have been those type of days where the lethargy has gotten so bad that even looking at my aerobic step makes my body slump, but then I have days where I have so much energy it feels wonderful to let some loose on my weights and step.
Anyway back on topic, I squizzed through the website.Holy Fuck! This type of shaming is damaging to people who no matter how hard they work out or how much they starve themselves happen to be on the fat end of the scale. It effects our self-worth and triggers body dismorphia.
There is also the reality that in becoming more body positive about our curvier, rounder, softer, dimpled FAT bodies that we veer on the edge of thin-shaming. We have to be careful of this, as some women just happen to be naturally thin, and some people prefer this. As an artist the fleshiness, softness, curviness and indeed fatness of some women is more appealing to me. Obviously this is my preference and I aspire to be proud of my curves, while still loving my thinner sisters. There is nothing wrong with being skinny or fat, there is only something wrong with a society that wishes all of us to fit into that small scale of “only thin is sexy”.
My FB “friend” brought up a lot of issues for me, my own self-loathing, my own weight struggles throughout my life, and the slut shaming I had gone through since I was a 12-year-old fat girl wearing tight skirts and knee-high boots. In the previous posts on the Other side of the Broom, I have spoken very specifically about fat shaming and slut shaming. There is not much more that can be said about that disgusting aforementioned website, it does nothing but trigger body hatred and negativity.
Here are some links to blogs and articles that focus on Body positivity instead, Sexy curvy beautiful fat women, because we ARE sexy:
Ok now that we have seen some lovely, sexy pictures of fat women, read some wonderful articles and explored some fantabulous blogs, is the sour taste from that other website gone?
Not really, because when it comes down to it despite the fat positive movement, our “friends”, our families and yes even our very own selves are still using abusive language to describe fatness. We still shame celebrities like Christina Aguilera and Lady Gaga for gaining any amount of weight (and you can bet if they lost any amount of weight they’d be doing the “OMG they are too skinny” spiel). We still have a long way to go to accept ourselves as beautiful and wonderful no matter our size, at least many of these blogs and Tumblrs are a step in the right direction.
* Although the view of the author is stated as her own opinion, the absolutely vitriolic tone taken against women who are anything other than skinny throughout the blog is still vile.
Main article and photograph of me** copyright 2012 of Nightshade author of The Purple Broom