The Wheel is turning and Autumn is coming…not because the first of March said it is, not necessarily because my bones say it is and maybe not even because I subconsciously started reading the book “The Autumn Castle” a few days ago. There is an energetic shift, my body felt it, and inadvertently I had some pumpkin soup on the first of March and realised how subconsciously I had begun to acknowledge this change.
Of course Autumn can be said to begin on the Equinox on the 20th, but the rhythms are already changing, and the second harvest marks it with celebration and wine!
I’m an Autumn child, and have always loved the Autumn season with the crunchy leaves underfoot, the changing colours of Nature, and the very tangible magic in the air. I celebrate Mabon and Samhain, and find the darkening year to carry with it both a beauty and a sadness that can be addictive.
It is the season of pumpkin soup and apple pie, cinnamon pancakes and spiced tea, cuddles with movies and reaping rewards from the past. It is nostalgia, like the 6 of cups that I drew yesterday, it brings back memories of Equinoxes past and sitting under golden brown canopies while reading. It brings back memories of rituals done during the waning year, to bring harmony, happiness and fruitfulness and of course it brings back that sad feeling that Winter will soon follow with its dark, cold, lonely nights.
There is more to the sadness, however, than just Winter coming. Autumn is a season of change, an inward-turning change, and it carries with it, both pleasure and pain, feast, song and loss. I struggle with change, I often buck against it, because better the devil you know right?
I am surrounded by transformation on even a molecular level and cannot escape it as my Gods are Gods of transformation. Butterfly, Crow and Snake are Spirits of change and transition, and of course my craft is based around transformation as well. So why all my struggle with change? Because it is hard to let go, it is hard to move from Here to There without getting hurt. Because on a fundamental level I am scared that if change does come it will leave only sorrow and pain in it’s wake.
Change isn’t always bad, and often even if the change is hard it brings with it very positive things, like a (more or less) happy home and new friendships, but that doesn’t mean that it is easy to go through, that it won’t sometimes hurt.
So I look to the falling leaves and feel that twinge of melancholy accompanied with wonder at the beauty of it all.