The Root and The Core- Descending into the Earth

For a short while my spiritual practice suffered from a somewhat emotionally disconnected period. It hasn’t necessarily been a disconnect from my gods, or the spirits, as even during my month of no ritual, I was hearing them loud and clear. It was more of a case of feeling a disconnection from myself as a witch, from my evolving system and  how my practices fit into my life, a disconnection from my body, my emotions, my very core . There was no inspiration, there was no creativity, there was no movement and then the lightning and the thunder came and I felt purpose, even if that purpose was peppered with an emptiness that I’m only on the verge of understanding.

After a month of lunar devotion, positive affirmation and ceaseless noise, I have come no closer to a true understanding of how and why I let this lack creep in, how and why I allowed the emptiness to swallow my path into its big black pit of emotional disconnection from craft. This of course is not the first time that this has happened, it probably wont be the last. Previous times, however, I knew the cause of the lack and I was able to overcome it through ritual and faith.

There have been some moments where I have felt that spark of connection again, they always take me by surprise, often because i have been somewhat on autopilot. Even so, it has taken a great amount of courage to step back into my body, my emotions and my practices.

This emotionally disconnected period began after my induction into the Mysteries of a Goddess I had not worked with very much   in rituals and rites, Isis. I followed a path of faith and devotion to Mighty Isis and instead of finding solace and strength in a temple to her, my time spent at this temple chipped away at my path, it drained away my passion, it left me beaten and betrayed, and crawling out of a ditch so big and deep that I often still wonder if I will find a way out.

Did Isis feel this sense of betrayal when Nephthys conceived Osiris’ son? Did she feel the sting of betrayal and the empty lack in Her life when Osiris was slayed by his brother Set? Most likely She did, but She did “adopt” Anpu as Her own, and She did get off Her tush and search for Osiris, and not only did she gather the strength to find him and put him back together, Her divine love and devotion, conceived a sacred Heir to the throne, a new king conceived out of Hieros Gamos, a Hope for a balanced and rejuvenated future.

I will not abandon Isis, as I do not feel that She abandoned me. She is after all a Mother Goddess that traveled space and time far beyond Ancient Egyptian Religion. Her tears are healing, Her magic all-encompassing, Her names number over a thousand, and Her Love is the universal, archetypal love of Mother, Wife and Sister. She sits at the back of my Egyptian shrine, her wings spread, her beauty and love illuminating the shrine with Her presence. She may be in the background of my shrine and even my practice, but She is there and She is felt.

After the passing of one lunar devotional cycle, I step into another. It is no mistake that I began these lunar devotions during the waning cycle, the cycle of release and destruction, for one must destroy the old to bring about the new; one must release the pain of the past in order to appreciate the beauty of the present; one must tear out the dead, decaying plants in the flower beds to allow for the growth of healthy new plants.

It is also a deliberate descent into the Mysteries of another Archetypal Goddess, Inanna. For the first time in maybe 4 or 5 years the blackberry plant I devoted to Inanna finally produced berries despite having made flowers each seasonal period before. I now begin my actual work in the Living Temple of Witchcraft of Christopher Penczak with the first Temple of the Root. The Crow, the Hound and the Snake are my companions to the underworld, to this descent, to this Chakra, during this Lunar period.

This is a cycle of libation, an outpouring of the soul upon the seemingly empty ground. The ground has been weeded, and seeded and now awaits some nourishment from the libation. Libation is a pure devotion, it is liquid, it is water, it is blood, it is wine,it is milk. It is a life-sustaining offering to the spirits, the gods and the living, and I offer it up from my very core, allowing the emotions, the feelings that arise from the seeming emptiness to fall and flow freely upon the earth.

 

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5 thoughts on “The Root and The Core- Descending into the Earth

  1. The gods are oft elusive and their ways mysterious. All we can do when our faith has no feedback is to just keep doing our devotions whether we feel like it or not. It sounds like you are on a good path as ISIS always was, always is, and always will be. Blessings.

  2. Hiya, I enjoyed reading your experience, the way of balance works like this, we need to fall on barren land at times, to stop and allow the compass to point us in the direction we need, and to learn from, this stasis is as valid as movement, they go hand in hand, in forty odd years of walking my path, this has been a great reviver and teacher for me. I always look forward to your words and experiences, Blessed Be, John.

    • I do agree that barren times are often necessary, they do help us to see whether or not what we are doing is worth it, what direction we should be going in. These fallow times however i do often know and find the cause of them and I am able to understand them better because of that. what irks me about this particular fallow period was that where I was was meant to facilitate spiritual growth, a deeper path etc but instead did not. I need to figure out the why and how at some point, as Este’s states in her much beloved book Women who run with the wolves “To re-learn the deep feminine instincts, it is vital to see how they were decommissioned to begin with” p251. Part of what happened during this period, was that I lost my instincts and put my faith and trust in the wrong things and people.

      Thank you for your insight on stasis, that may be the place to start figuring out the why and how of this whole thing.

      Brightest and Darkest Blessings
      Nightshade

      • Hiya Nightshade, It is so easy to lose one’s instincts in this crazy overly busy, fast moving world, the influences on our deeper selves, where our instincts are activated are so covered buy this modern pollution/smog, creating at times so much confusion and stress, we are not supposed to live like this, it is not good for us, and you can just look around and see how people are so cut off from themselves. Life is not simple anymore, anyway that is why I have always had a daily practice, and a quite time to connect with the gods/goddesses, I sit with my dear Anubis on a daily basis, I share conversation with him, and this really earths me.
        I feel at times we are led to points in our lives, whether they be fallow or fruitful, to learn something, or to just stop to clear our selves, to allow us to see something we may have missed, it is all good lol, tho at times frustrating, and confusing, I send the blessings of our beautiful Anpu to you, nice to hear from you, and remember, keep on, keeping on lol, Blessed Be. John Sirius.

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