When I look into my own eyes
I see Ravens
Beating feathers at the sun;
Shifting shadows beneath the light;
Voices ancient as Thought and Memory –

They guard the edges of dreams.

I carve madness from my eyeballs,
Picking out each vein with the blood-soaked barbs of feathers.
Mad woman’s milk spills onto my fingers
Like words staining my lips.

Dark moons cling to the edge of my tongue –
Violent spiders sucking in every breath and body,
Leaving nothing but desiccated husks

For the Ravens to tear at and peck.


I kiss you

I kiss you

And every incarnation of you,

As hound and beast,

And bone white death.

I kiss the soil of corpses,

And the soft moon flowers.

And in each kiss your


Softly curls around my heart and soul

Claiming me as yours


 She was Dressed in Black

She was dressed in black,

 a raven of painted feathers and death tones.

Her body  was laced in black and roses,

like a corpse,

dancing in the bone-yard

upon the sacred mounds of skull and tears.

She was kissed in black,

A midnight phantom on the wings of the moon,

Doom and Sadness in her eyes

Like feathers of the crow falling

one by


from the sky


Devouring Devotion

His grin tickles me with its sharpness,
His breath sharp with the scent of death,
The sickly, rotting smell of roadkill.
I catch a glimpse of him from the corner of my eye,
teeth and dripping spittle,
Tearing the corpse apart so that it may be digested in his belly
This is Devouring Compassion;
Everything will die and rot, and will pass
Through Him.

I pick up the red clay, wet with my spit and blessed water and I begin to mold and carve, bit by bit, the details of the small skulls. There are Thirteen.

The candle-light is sinister, magical, like Anpu’s delighted grin…This is the land of spirits and Death. I offer the last of my coffee to Pixie, I still share this ritual with her. My head is spinning with euphoria, ecstasy… Wildness.

I have etched my devotion into small clay balls of skull.

Anubis is not a god booming orders down
from the heavens;
He delights in wild rapture and simple devotion-
Rituals of rupture and release.
Surgical Execution,
Carnal Expression
This is not Spirit Being torn from the flesh
but married to it.
Each brutal caress, of spirit on bone, of blood on soul
Knits me closer
to Raw Godliness.

I fly by night- incense and caffeine floods my lungs and veins. I am drowning in the scent of Dog, of God; I give myself over to sacred passion and devotion, lost in the gentle violence of His Eyes.


Dance for Het- Heret

Intoxicating, isn’t it?
The way my scent snakes up your nostrils,
Slipping in between your fingers
and the locks of your hair
as you dance for me.
You are losing yourself.
Don’t you know that is what love is?
Falling into someones scent like
Bees falling dead to the ground.
The seemingly endless curling up and up,
Until you are
falling down and

Everything else is merely a whisper,
A shadow of smoke in candlelight.

You weep white roses at my feet;
A sacrifice.
As Perfect Love means giving yourself over to me
Madness and Beauty
is the dance you are pounding out with your feet,
it is your breath growing faster and harder,
as your hips buck and sway.

Everything is a drumbeat
waiting to be danced,
until you collapse
at my feet.


Hekate’s Mirror

because I’m not really numb
I need to feel it
because I’m not dead.
This is a test.
The broken glass pierces into my left foot,
because I can still feel it,
because even a piece of mirror in my foot is still a mirror
A mirror that I have to look into,
especially because it is shattered

Because now the image reflects me
in many facets, and I’m seeing myself as if for the first time
It is horrifying

swirl-mdBecoming the Jackal

 Oh let’s have a little dance with Death,
A walk on the wild side
with The Jackal.
Where naked flesh
Meets ripping jaws;
A wild frenzy in a dance of
on the serpent drum.
Slipping into ecstasy
I become The Jackal
As He enters me



 The Blue rips through me,

rupturing what was there before

A cleansing was of your lavender fans the flame of my heart.

And you are the Earth, Sky and Sea, the ebb and flow and beating drum, the air in my lungs and whisper on the wind



The monsters they creep around at night,

setting our fears and troubles to light.

They bump around and go WoooOoo.

And when we close the cupboards, go Boo!


They dance around making scary sounds;

Their shadows of ghouls and monster hounds.

They grab us with their bloody claws,

and make scratching noises on our doors


They sneak up behind us making skin crawl,

and write redrum all over the walls.

They come out of mirrors when we call Bloody Mary,

and when they bear their teeth, they’re even more scary


They like to breathe loudly with a rasping breath,

and curl their razor fingers around our juicy necks.

So with a shudder and a scream I run and hide under the sheet

As monsters cannot hurt me, unless I take a peak.


O That Oogie Boogie Man!

Oogie was a boogie man under my bed.

His eyes were jet black but at night they glowed red.


He made growling noises and screeched aloud at night,

Sending me in a flurry of tears at the awful fright.


One day he tried to frighten me, but I refused to play along.

So now he keeps me up at night singing his Boogie song!


Two Spiders

Two spiders circling in a death dance

They touch

And like a teardrop

One falls

Silently to the ground



Unliving is the beast that

feeds on through the



It pulses, bleeding from battles never


Yet in the end

the beast has won.


Drooling blood,


burning holes into flesh;

into men, its teeth

do mesh


Claws ripping,

jaws dripping.

This beast,

this monster

is me;

my sanity that

is slipping



By Nightshade (Me)

The young girl travelled the path

‘Til it no longer was the same

 She travelled into the other world

the world of spells and fae


As she looked at each glittering star

that sat upon each stem

She grew tired and weary

and fell to sleep on them


When she awoke she was back home

but alas no one was there

she looked upon a mirror and

could not help but stare


She had aged beyond mortal years

A crone of wise never seen

She remembered all a-sudden

the spiderwight-weaved dream


Fae had danced around her soul

teaching her sweet spells

She fell in love with a faery king

and became a Queen as well


But time had come to end her days

in the Faery realm

She wished for her family

and bid the fae farewell


When she arrived they all were dead

And she could not return

The path was no longer there

And she, her lesson learnt


She now sits in the sewing room

Weaving destinies

she silently cuts the thread and

brings eternity


Nothing ever lasts

I pull the violin strings through my vocal chords

To bleed them with beauty

As the passion leaks from my lips

I trace upon the satin sky

And lend the stars my cruelty

I’m a cloud of toxic memories

A fog of empty void

My mind plays upon the eventual

Of what is to come

For what is forever

Without the promise of dreams

Without the silence of screams

Without things that seem to be

And in this littered world

Of paper flowers

And grass of glass

I hope to fade upon the never

As nothing ever lasts


Torture me

Hit me, beat me to the swollen ground

Bite me fight me yet with no sound

Make me bleed and scream and die

Torture me and hurt me with love in your eyes

Drowning sun

The moon is dark

The sky breathes red

All around us

Is death and dread

As I fall into a

Swirling river

No one can hear me

As I drown in slivers

I scream

I cry

I toss

I turn

I slam

I smash

Yet nothing works

You are a million miles


Barbed wire

Slashes tires

Rips into skin

Like soaring fires

Burning flesh

Bleeding blood

I die,

And look at the

colour of the sky?

What beauty in a

drowning sun

Thus the beginning

Of the end

Has come


Broken diary

Pages floating

Now whipped by the wind

In a cold dark alley

In thick puddles they land

Tearstained already, blood bathed

by wrists all slit

hatred borne in fragmented


a broken soul demolished by pain

a weather worn diary

demolished in rage


Progeny of bloodshed

Black candles bleeding

Hot wax on white skin

Nails drawing blood in a lovers embrace

Teeth tearing the skin of sweet pink lips

Tongue lapping fluid

From a blood-filled mouth

-a vampire’s kiss-


World inside of me

There’s this whole world inside of me

That goes drip, drip with blood

There’s this strange world inside of me

That can never feel love

There’s this insane world inside of me

That only seems to hate

There’s this little world inside of me

That I made to escape


An angel

Scorned and shredded

An angel seduced by our lust of flesh

Our lingering sweet caresses

Of cadaverous illusions

Our erotica of forbidden diversion

A secret known only by us

By our selfish gratification

And swollen dissociation

An act of rape so euphoric and mortal

This angel has surrendered

its deathless existence

Its lissome essence

To be and feel our

Torturous imperfection

And deteriorate into evanescence



Suspended I hang

In a harlequins dream

A carnival of masks

A terror of screams

Music of madness

In a merry-go-round

Exploding in my head

The grotesque sounds

I fall and I’m trapped

In a dungeon of mirrors

I run but can’t hide from

The phantasmal horrors

Faces laugh in a glitter of lust

As I crumple into the violin dust

The dancers swarm

above and below

As la guillotine

Perfects her blow

I struggle but

I’m bound in

Spider legs

And it ‘s Only


And Will

Never end



Falling teardrops

In the chrome sky

Crying angels

Shrivel and die

Melted into a pool of death

My lungs let out their

Last whisper of breath


Blood and paper

Blood is dripping

Blood is dripping

Blood is dripping from my eyes

Paper ripping

Paper I`m ripping

As I rip up my own insides


Invisible Knife

Invisible knife above my head

It sleeps with me inside my bed

It cuts my mind and rips my heart

And tears my skin off part by part

It torments my spirit, it pierces my flesh

When I awake

My wounds are still fresh



I wake up every morning and look

Out my window to a cold chrome sky and leafless trees

The wind whispers a haunting truth of death and sadness

And the tears in my eyes well up lake puffs of mist on a mountain

The shadows engulf my last traces of hope and I fall upon my bed

Crushed and crumpled like wasted paper

And simper into sleep

Near midafternoon the sun

Peaks through the granite clouds and struggles its way

Through until it reaches my nose and starts to heat up my face

Winter is the loneliest and most frightfully depressing

Season there is

Yule trees of the oak kings defeat rise up and lay triumphant over empty space where presents should be

In the cold mansions of my mind there is nobody but me

There are, instead of halls filled with food and bouquets, footsteps echoing against grey tiles and the frosted breath of a wanderer

In a daze, constantly wishing, imagining, making friends with the walls, I sit and converse and fight

How tedious everyday gets

Looking up to stars of frozen glitter

How sad she kooks, the mother, the Moon

Singing the song of death in symphonies of gloom



Superficial plastic dolls dance to

Candy coated, coloured death

The fake within reality

Is all the truth that’s left

How can a pen leave a mark

If all the ink has run out

How can a mirror reflect perfection

If what is looking in it is dirt

How can death capture life

If souls are what makes life live

As death is lined within the

Pencils lead

Each bit is broken piece by piece

From the end to the head


Shattered page

This shattered page

Of ripped words

Bleeding onto walls

In fits of blood

In crimson ink

My story is told

With pain and rage

And hatred so cold

I am the beauty of the Earth

Crumbling into somber


As we all fade into oblivion

With this sweet ignorance



She’s an angel of lust on

a rosebud of passion

moon dust wings

are mechanically captured

in a void of space

she hangs motionless

her heart a swollen yet

empty pit

her face of animated


held in her eyes

her smile of fragility

on skin paper white

she craves for eternity

and our eyes can`t see

that she falls down

into eventuality


Fanciful play

In a fancy of Fantasy

In a world where I like to go

It has blood and gore and

Suicidal shows

The actors are me

And I direct the play

As I myself in reality decay

I watch my dance as I slither

And unwind

in a deathly duel

of nothingness and time

in a trance I float

staring at me

as I fall away from reality



(This was the first poem I ever wrote)

Here I rot, I shall not prevail

For as I am the one, the only one, that

Knows, that wills and that shall be

I take to another thought of life,

In a way I bear a wrath, that

Can`t be seen through the eyes of

One, one I am, am I known?

Known is the truth, truth of

me, my knowledge grows through

Sight that knows me no longer

I feel, felt and will always touch

The sense of me, you, her, him, brother,

sister, mother, father, life can’t go on

much longer, I think for I am

only a vision of imagination, that

is so powerful

only one can bear the thought of a

life so dull, living in a vision of

ones memory, present and future

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